FEATURE: CHEMSEX
One of the major reasons we use drugs is that they make other things more enjoyable. Food tastes better when you’re stoned, dance music sounds interesting when you’re pinging, and sex can feel amazing on pretty much most substances. In fact, combining sex and drugs can allow some people to last longer, explore themselves and their partner in new ways, and get off much harder.
Methamphetamine is popular in the chemsex scene because using can make the experiences last longer and be more intense. But also think polydrug - combinations of meth, ketamine, MDMA, amyl, Viagra and GHB.
We all know mixing sex and drugs can be dynamite! So harm reduction is super important. Key things to think about: risk assessment, planning to reduce harms, communicating, respecting other people’s choices, and knowing your own limits.
Why is PnP or chemsex popular?
There are so many reasons why people might want to have sex while on drugs. Chemsex can lower your inhibitions, heighten your senses, keep you in mood, or foster a deeper sense of connection with your partner. Specifically, it can allow people to explore their fantasies and desires and push their limits, with themselves or one or more sexual partners.
As well as drugs, chemsex experiences often also involve watching porn or using sex toys. Chemsex can also help with removing some of the anxiety around hooking up with a new person. Using drugs in this way is hardly new – for example, people around the world have used alcohol as a ‘social lubricant’ for thousands of years.
Who?
If we’re talking about chemsex, we really could be referring to any drugs and any sort of sex – lots of people choose to spice up their sex lives with a range of chemical additives. Although the term PnP generally refers to chemsex for men who have sex with men, anyone can get in on the fun!
Cis and trans people of all genders and sexualities party and play – pleasure doesn’t discriminate! We can get caught up with the idea that sex is a serious matter but getting in touch with our playful self during sex can be very freeing. Chemsex can be a way for people to explore their own sexuality and gender, as drugs can allow people to feel disinhibited and be able to experiment with what (and who) they like.
Where/How?
There are a lot of options for people who want to have sex with others while under the influence – it depends on what (and who) you’re after.
Sex on Premises venues such as saunas and kink clubs are quite popular, as well as ‘beats’, which are at public places like toilets, beaches, headlands, cemeteries and parks where people hook up. These options are good if you want to stay anonymous. A lot of people feel safer in Sex on Premises venues because you can book rooms and close doors - but that doesn’t mean risky stuff doesn’t happen. Just keep in mind some Sex on Premises places don’t take kindly to obvious drug use, and you might get banned if you’re too out of it.
Sex on Premises venues often cater to specific crowds, most commonly men who have sex with men. However, look hard enough and you’ll find something for you – for example, one venue in Western Sydney hosts nights for all genders and sexualities. Some venues also run ‘HIV pos’ or ‘HIV neg’ sessions, exclusively for people with certain diagnoses.
With the rise of smart phones, loads of hook-up apps have popped up over the last few years (such as Tinder, Grindr, Scruff, Scissr, Her, Recon). These cater for everyone, from the most vanilla people seeking love to the downright dirty of us seeking to push limits. These apps can be used to organise everything from romantic dates, to anonymous hook-ups, to intense chemsex sessions with multiple people.
Of course, not everyone is looking to have chemsex with strangers. Many people prefer to hook-up with existing friends and sexual partners in a familiar location. If you’re already seeing someone, they might be interested in chemsex if you raise the topic with them – we’ll leave the specifics of this conversation up to you though!
Think of mixing drugs and sex the same way as you would mixing multiple drugs together. The experience and pleasure of both the sex and drugs can increase, but mixing sex and drugs can sometimes create difficult-to-navigate scenarios.
While chemsex can be fun, exciting and hot as hell, there are risks which you need to be aware of – and you need to know that the potential for harm increases when you add more drugs or sexual partners to the mix. Here’s an overview of some of the most common risks that come with PnP and how best to minimise them.
Blood Borne Viruses and STIs
No matter what kind of sex we’re having, who our partner may be, or what drugs we’re taking and how, we need to make sure we’re protected against blood borne viruses and STIs. Party n play sessions can be high risk environments, so it’s important to keep your wits about you and stay safe.
Bring extra condoms, gloves, and lube anywhere you’re going to party n play (SOPV, your local beat, someone’s house etc).
Always use condoms for anal sex if you’re having sex with a stranger, someone who has a different HIV status as you, or if you don’t know your partner’s HIV status.
Use heaps of water-based lube – lube will minimise the risk of tear injuries during anal sex, which helps avoid blood-blood contact. Using amyl nitrite relaxes your muscles, again decreasing risk of tear injuries from anal sex and avoiding blood-blood contact.
If your chemsex session includes injecting drugs, make sure you come prepared. Bring all your own unused injecting equipment – sharps, syringes, stericups, filters, swabs – and then some extra to share around!
BYO pipe - If you’re smoking ice/tina, it’s best to bring your own pipe. Smoking from a glass pipe can lead to dry, cracked lips – if you or someone else has a blood-borne virus such as hepatitis or HIV, sharing your pipe around can potentially spread these diseases.
Staying safe doesn’t mean compromising pleasure.
If you’re HIV negative and are potentially going to having sex without a condom, make sure you’re protected in another way. PrEP is one way to protect yourself against HIV. PrEP, or pre-exposure prophylaxis, is a preventative treatment where a HIV negative person take a combination of medications that stops them from catching HIV – even when exposed to body fluids of a HIV positive person. PrEP can be taken by anyone and is available on the Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme, making it a low-cost option for people who have a Medicare card. Any doctor or GP can write a script for PrEP, which can be filled out at most pharmacies.
Some people choose their sexual partners based on their HIV status. By only sleeping with someone who has the same HIV diagnosis as them, a person can have sex without a condom without worrying about catching or transmitting HIV.
Even if you’re both pos there are multiple genotypes of both HIV and hep C which are treated differently so always best to discuss status/boundaries If you don’t know their HIV status, don’t have a condom, and aren’t on PrEP – go home and jerk off!
Boundaries, Consent, and Setting Your Limits.
Some of the main reasons people use drugs for sex are to lower their inhibitions and dissolve boundaries, also these effects can make the issue of consent blurred. According to a 2017 survey, one in ten men who have participated in chemsex reported being sexually assaulted during a chemsex experience.
When you’re intentionally mixing sex and drugs, the question of consent becomes a bit less clear. That’s why it’s best to stick with people who are on the same level as you, make sure you set some limits about what you will do before getting amongst it, and respecting other people’s boundaries.
Consent
Consent is when a person freely and voluntarily agrees to something. The law says that if a person is too messed up on alcohol or other drugs, they aren’t able to consent to sexual activity. Consent has to be conscious and is able to be withdrawn at any time.
Consent isn't just about sex. We also need to seek consent before filming other people, or dosing them with drugs.
To avoid miscommunication, it can help to keep checking in with your partner, especially if you’re trying something (or someone) new. Don’t assume they want it - ask and find out! Whether it’s with a long-term partner, casual hook-up or a stranger, actively seeking ongoing consent and checking in helps make sure that everyone wants the same thing and we aren’t overstepping personal boundaries.
Things to remember about consent
Capacity to consent – a person can’t consent to something if they’re too affected by drugs or alcohol. If you are going to be getting on it, try to be clear beforehand with your partner about what you find hot, and where you draw the line. If a person’s too wasted or unconscious, they can’t consent. Don’t try fuck them – check if they need help!
Never assume that your partner wants the same as you – ask and make sure and check in if they appear unsure or uncomfortable with anything.
Consent has to be given voluntarily – it doesn’t count as consent if you pressure your partner to do something they otherwise wouldn’t do.
Consent has to be active and can be withdrawn at any time. If someone’s not into it, they can change your mind – even if they’d already previously consented.
If something bad happens to you, it’s not your fault.
Monitor your intake – although the blame of sexual assault always lies with the perpetrator, it can help to keep your wits about you. Make sure you’re not taking more drugs than you normally would or were planning on. Be wary of people pressuring you to take substances – could they have an ulterior motive?
Need some support? 1800 RESPECT is a sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling service. 1800 RESPECT is a confidential service available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. 1800 RESPECT provides support for people experiencing (or who are at risk of experiencing) sexual assault, domestic or family violence. They also provide counselling to the friends and family of those people, as well as workers whose job it is to support people experiencing sexual, domestic or family violence.
Boundaries:
When we’re high or horny, our judgement can be compromised. To avoid doing something which we may later regret, it can be a good idea to set clear boundaries beforehand. These boundaries might be about who you have sex with, what drugs you do, or how long you’re planning on partying for.
While some people find it hard to respect the limits or boundaries they set for themselves, it’s still better to have an solid idea about what you want from your chemsex session before seeing your partner, before getting hot and heavy, and definitely before ingesting any drugs. Having an honest conversation with your partner about what you want, and where you draw the line, can help you in the moment to make smarter decisions about the risks you’re willing to take.
Letting other people shoot you up – having someone give you a shot can be incredible sexual, intimate and transgressive. However, we have heard multiple reports of people getting shot up with what they thought was meth, but turned out to be ketamine or opioids. In some scenarios, they were sexually assaulted afterwards.
If you’re letting someone else shoot you, watch them prepare the shot to make sure they’re mixing up safely – doing so reduces your risk of a getting a dirty shot or a blood-borne virus
Self-care
Sex and drugs can sure take it out of you. It’s important to make time and space to recover, especially after longer or more intense PnP sessions. Self-care looks different between people, but the important thing is to actively set aside some time where you won’t be using, fucking, working, or otherwise stressing yourself out. Here are our top tips for self-care during and after chemsex:
Eat some food. Although it seems obvious, it’s quite easy for eating to slip your mind, especially when taking stimulants. Eat well before and after chemsex; your body needs fuel for you to have a good time. A meal replacement drink or healthy smoothie can be used if you can’t manage a proper meal.
Call a time-out. While it can be easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment, it’s important to take regular breaks during extended sessions. Catch your breath, drink some water, have a cigarette or check your socials – however you choose to take a break, taking some time out lets you revaluate your immediate priorities, and work out what your next step is.
Have a break from chemsex. If you have chemsex regularly, it might help to try take a few weeks off mixing drugs and sex. Doing so can improve your relationships with both, and can allow you to make space for other things in your life.
Plan a rest day. If possible, try plan some recovery time after your session. Eat some nourishing food, rehydrate, and rest up with your favourite movie or TV show to keep you company.
Get some sleep! The best thing for you following a weekend of hard drug use and hot sex is a good night’s sleep! Sleep replenishes your body and mind, keeping you healthy and sane, and gets you back in sync with the rest of the world after using all weekend. Avoid dosing up on stimulants for at least 12 hours before you plan on heading to bed – otherwise you may find yourself struggling to fall asleep!