Shafting

Article, and original research, by Dale

There are lots of ways of taking drugs, and regardless of what some think, injecting isn’t the only way or even always the best way of taking drugs. The reality is that injecting goes hand in hand with risk from blood borne viruses like hep C, hep B and HIV; abscesses; vein damage; bacterial infections (dirty hits); cellulitis; and endocarditis.

Putting drugs in places where there are lots of capillaries, like under the tongue, in the vagina or in the anus, can bring drugs on nearly as fast as injecting, and they can last longer. Dale takes us through his experimentation with taking a variety of different drugs via the butt.

I’ve always loved learning and experimenting, to the point where sometimes I feel like a bit of a mad scientist. Since the age of 15 when I read on the internet about a strange substance called ‘weed’ I’ve been fascinated with, and by, drugs. At my last count I’d tried 32 different ‘illicit’ drugs. But while trying these strange, stigmatised substances has been an ongoing passion project, I’ve found another avenue to further satiate this curiosity.

Boofing, booty bumping, shelving, plugging. Many names, one concept — taking drugs via ya bum. So, while I’ve tried 32 drugs so far, I’ve only ass-essed 9 through this portal of pleasure. As a rectal researcher I want to share some of my findings in the hope of penetrating a new frontier in drug knowledge.

I’ve experienced a lot of incredible things, but also learnt some serious lessons. Whatever you choose to do with your bum, research the shit out of it first! Without further ado, here’s my review of 4 substances I’ve boofed. I have included a rectal rating, which is a rating of how rectal administration compares to usual methods. Knowledge is power!

MDMA

Difficulty rating: 1/10

Rectal Rating: 10/10

How: Lubing up a dose and pushing it in up to your second knuckle.

Review: Hands (or pants) down this is the best way of taking MDMA. Hits harder and faster, feels better and is just simply: great. A must try.

Watch out for: Taking too much — you need less for the same effect this way. It’s much more bioavailable when taken up the bum, so, start lower than your usual dose, maybe half for starters.

Cannabis

Difficulty rating: 8/10

Rectal Rating: 6/10

How: (Don’t do this, it’s just what I did) I tried this by decarbing (cooking) a nug (nugget/ bud) of weed, covering it in lube and pushing it up there. Future recommendation would be to use weed butter instead of a bud itself.

Review: Admittedly my method was poorit wasn’t great. Crunchy, uncomfortable, and difficult. Did get very high though!

Watch out for: Getting way too high. I ended up curled up under a blanket for 4 hours, so use caution. If you do get too high, just ride it out, drink a tea and chill out with a movie — it will pass. I suspect a weed butter enema would work and work very potently.

GHB

Difficulty rating: 7/10

Rectal rating: 8/10 (with caution)

How: Measuring a smaller dose than normal, diluting it 2:1 or 3:1 with saline solution, lubricating a 3ml barrel and inserting.

Review: Faster onset, with more intensity. High is great but there are some serious risks. Plus, it can burn a lot.

Watch out for: GBL! A lot of the ‘G’ in Australia is GBL, an industrial solvent. This will burn the shit out of you. That can cause permanent damage. Which is a serious pain in the arse. GBL usually smells and tastes like nasty bitter chemicals (whereas GHB should be slightly salty and/or licoricey.) If it smells like chemicals, don’t risk your poor bum with it! Also, it’s easy to overdo it on G, and boofing it makes it hit much stronger, so you have to take a lot less — at least 30% less than your usual dose, start small! Also: dilute it in water 3:1 to further reduce bum burn.

[From the Editor: We strongly recommend that you do NOT shaft G — it will burn and may cause scarring.]

Nangs

Difficulty rating: 10/10

Rectal rating: 2/10

Entertainment value: 11/10

How: Filling a balloon with your nang, twisting it round your finger, lubing it up, carefully inserting (while holding the balloon closed). Then carefully releasing the end of the balloon while holding it in place. It’s not easy. Don’t even think about doing it from the canister unless you want to blow a hole in your insides. My research has taught me that your bum is a sensitive and important place and a nanginator could truly rip your insides apart. Use a balloon.

Review: Great party trick, pretty much useless otherwise. Is quite cold internally.

Watch out for: The canister. Don’t be tempted to take the seemingly easy route and go straight from the canister. That pressure could seriously damage you.