Balancing Act
Mahmoud, Omar and Amr speak up
We spoke to 3 people from Muslim backgrounds about their experiences with drug use, their communities and their best pieces of advice.
UN: What messages did you receive about drugs and alcohol growing up?
Mahmoud: Growing up, I heard everyone saying “drugs are bad” but there seemed to be an extra emphasis on it in the Islamic community. At first it was alcohol – it was a big part of Australian culture, but it is expressly forbidden in Islam. It was one of many things that just made me feel like I was different and didn’t fit in growing up.
Omar: The only thing I was told is that drug use is wrong and against our religion. No explanation was provided about why. I needed to find that out myself. Outside my family/ ethnic community, the message about drugs was the same but different about alcohol. It felt like you needed to drink alcohol to fit in.
Amr: Growing up, my parents, community and religion only had one message about drugs and alcohol: it’s bad and you’re forbidden from using.
UN: Tell us about your decision to first try drugs and/or alcohol
Mahmoud: I was 18 when I had my first drink of alcohol. I was in a period of experimentation and tired of feeling left out. I didn’t touch any weed until I was 20. I had a few mates who smoked weed who kept telling me it was normal and everyone does it. I didn’t actually believe them until one day I went around my office at work and asked about 15 people, one-on-one, “Hey have you ever tried weed?”, and every single one of them said yes. That really changed the way I saw it.
Omar: I first tried drugs in high school back home in America with a few drags of a joint. I started to properly use drugs when I was in university, as all my friends around me were using it. I wanted to fit in socially, but mostly I wanted to feel the way they seemed to when they were high. Plus I have to say images in music and movies also made drug use attractive to me!
Amr: I tried alcohol and drugs with friends when I was about 19–20 years old. I think seeing everyone doing it — especially people who I trusted — meant that I felt it was alright to do.
UN: Were you worried about your family or community finding out you used drugs?
Mahmoud: I’ve put a lot of effort into hiding drug use over the years. That meant I unconsciously distanced myself from my community. Eventually, I was confronted by my family and the evil genius in me managed to twist the story into being about what everyone around me was doing wrong, rather than what I needed to take responsibility for. By the time I went to rehab, there was no hiding it anymore and I genuinely had no idea what I was doing anymore either.
Omar: I am not from here, so my family and community finding out was not a risk. I did have friends here who were not fans of drug use purely because of religious reasons. I was not worried about them finding out because I am a grown man and I can do what I want.
Amr: I was kind of worried about what my family would say if they found out. So generally, I’d keep it hidden and wouldn’t bring it up with anyone. That meant I missed out on talking with people who could possibly offer advice.
UN: Did you make peace with being a Muslim who used drugs?
Mahmoud: I grew up with this really black and white view of religion. At any given point in time, I felt like a good Muslim or a bad Muslim. Later on, I let the shades of grey in, and admitted there were many parts of my religion that I didn’t agree with. I read a book called “Create Your Own Religion” by Daniele Bolelli that gave me permission to start thinking about what I genuinely believe and how I wanted to live. Learning how to rely on my intuition and use it to guide me has really helped me fine tune my moral compass. These days I see my psychedelic experiences as a key part of my spiritual development – they changed and shaped what I now believe in, in a deeply personal way.
Omar: My religious beliefs are quite strict and any altering of the mind with drugs is against my religion. To me, it’s black and white, and there is no way to bring them together. I knew it was the wrong thing to do. As a Muslim, I can’t be happy using drugs.
Amr: Obviously, drugs and alcohol don’t work with being Muslim, so there was always this feeling of guilt, like you’re doing something wrong. But then, over time, you realise: what is the purpose of what you’re doing? What benefit are you getting out of it? I think it just depends how you use it. If you can get some benefit out of the situation, then generally it’s fine.
UN: Has your drug use changed over time?
Mahmoud: I’ve had periods in my life where I’ve been dependent on substances. I learned a lot when I was in rehab. I did the 12-step thing for a few years and was abstinent for about 5 years. I’ve had periods of dependency since I started using again but I’ve definitely made major progress towards responsible using.
Omar: The main reasons I stopped using drugs regularly were related to age, life, marriage, family, religion and health. Drug use stopped being a positive thing for me – I was getting into a negative headspace. I made a conscious decision to stop doing it for my future. I still sometimes use in a social setting, but I don’t feel the urge as strongly, or go out of my way to get it.
Amr: When things were going badly, I would rely on drugs to blank out or numb any feelings of pain or issues going on in your head. And I realised that wasn’t always a good thing to do — you’ve got to address the issues rather than just numb them.
UN: Have other people who use drugs made a difference to you?
Mahmoud: Stepping outside the 12-step community and hearing a bit more from harm reduction experts has broadened my horizons and allowed me to think less rigidly — more in line with who I am and what I genuinely believe. Seeing that there are people who have had periods of dependency and then return back to responsible drug use has helped me believe it was possible. I met people who helped shape my understanding of what safe and responsible drug use looks like. A lot of those people are associated with NUAA.
Omar: Most of my friends were people who use drugs, but they were all on different levels. I have seen and experienced some negative effects that taking a lot of drugs in a compulsive way can have. For me, it’s better to be moderate and I’ve seen that the rate of use is important to me. It’s better for me to be consuming a small amount over a long duration — I mean like a few joints every few months. That is better for me than smoking every day.
Amr: Absolutely. You need to get as much information as you can, speak to a lot of people. Don’t do these things on your own.
UN: What do you know now about drugs and/or alcohol that you wish you knew before you started?
Mahmoud: I wish I knew more about mental health before I started. I had no idea that a consequence of my use was that some of my emotions were numbed while others were amplified. It has been valuable to learn how the difference.
Omar: I can get dependent on drugs fairly quickly. I might want to use them to have a good time but I need to make sure that I do not rely on them. That means checking myself out so if I am wearing all the signs of getting dependent, I need to take a step back.
Amr: I just wish there was more education about alcohol and drugs when I was growing up. I wish I knew the exact results and effects of what you take. I’d like to see more info on what not to take and what not to mix. I also would like to know more about why people use drugs. And I wish I understood earlier that there are socially useful and beneficial ways to use substances, and there’s also very negative ways to use them. I’m interested in why we cross over our own lines, even when it can impact our development and mess up things that are important to us.
UN: Got any top tips?
Mahmoud: I’ve picked up a few things along the way. First up, there is no substitute for education — evidence-based info, not just stuff I heard on the grapevine. I’ve found that isolation is a pretty common feature of people experiencing dependency — I think it’s fuelled by stigma, discrimination and fear of judgement. I’ve noticed the difference between responsible drug use and dependency often comes down to how connected people are with their families and communities, whoever those communities might be. There is no substitute for social support.
I always ask “Why do I want to do this?” It’s perfectly ok if I’m in a tight situation with a lot going on and I could really use something to take the edge off. As long as I’m consciously doing it. I learnt to know myself. It’s really hard to navigate drug use if you don’t understand all the different things that could be influencing your decisions. I realised drug use didn’t prevent me from improving my health. Drug use isn’t incompatible with a healthy lifestyle. I learnt to take breaks. It’s not an admission of defeat if I decide things are getting a bit too intense and I could use some space away from substances. Also, there is no shame in asking for help.
Omar: My advice is that if you’re like me and are the sort of person who easily becomes dependent, then some things are not worth doing. I wish I had just tried it out once or twice, but instead I became dependent. It wasn’t the right move for me, it just made me unhappy. I learned I could come back from that but it was hard. Or rather, it’s hard but you can come back. I learned to do it “one day at a time”.
Amr: My advice would just be to seek knowledge. Talk to experienced people. Make informed decisions. Understand why you want to explore drugs. Know that while drugs can be fun, elevate situations and enhance moods, you can harm yourself if you use them to avoid confronting situations in your life.