Chemsex + Cruising in the Digital Age

With the invention of smartphones and social media, so much changed in how we navigate the world around us and how we interact with other people. Around the world people are using dating apps, meeting friends, lovers, drug dealers and life partners along the way.

Apps like Scruff, Grindr, and BBRT are popular in the chemsex scene – the convenience and anonymity these apps offer is appealing to people wanting to hook-up with strangers. User’s News invited people who use apps to party to come together to talk about their experiences and give us some advice. Many thanks to the fabulous 7 cisgender gay men who heeded the call! Some guys used the apps for work, some for leisure and some for both. Here are a few of their thoughts.

Dean on being authentic: If I’ve got free time, I’ll use an app to hook up with someone for sex and drugs. But it’s not all the time – maybe once a week or once a fortnight I’ll hook up with someone. Sometimes I’ll binge. I’m quite responsible in how I do the sex and drugs thing. I’m always myself, the same person with the same head. My sexuality is heightened when I use but I’m aware of my surroundings and I don’t change my personality. I think that’s important.

Dylan on shooting up first-timers: It seems like there’s more people wanting to whack lately. I’ve had people I’ve been hooking up with ask me to inject them for the first time, but I’d never do it. I don’t agree with that. I don’t agree with the person who gave me my first shot. For me, it’s not a good decision.

Jason on being careful: I think the apps have responsibilities for red-flagging people who you have bad connections with, or if people act illegally. The apps don’t accept responsibility though – people can just get chucked off and then come back. You’ve got to be aware of that.

Hunter on injecting others: Quite often I find people in these spaces want the lowdown on using, the whole ABCs on how to go about it. Sometimes you have people who’ve only ever smoked ice before, and are now wanting to try whacking it, and they’ll ask you for advice or to show them how.

Lyle on living in the party capital: Sydney is the most equipped city I’ve come to, as far as being able to get injecting equipment and safe information.

Jerry on the scene: Most times people will bring drug use up before you meet face to face. You have people who’ve obviously been rejected face to face, and that’s the beauty of these apps at the moment. You get people who are insecure, who are too shy to talk to you. They’ll carry on online, but when you meet up, they’re a completely different person. People find it a lot easier to talk on these apps, I even find it with facebook. You’ll chat to them, they’ll be all after that, but then you meet them and they’re all timid! It’s like - “am I talking to the same fucking person?”. It’s the beauty and the shame of the apps. I’m worried about the next generation, who aren’t used to approaching people in public. Me, I’ll go to the bar, put my arm around a guy and go “I’d love to fuck you sometime”, and they’ll absolutely go wild – they never hear that anymore! Back in the 80s and 90s, guys used to be like that, but now, young people are too insecure to pick up. I think that’s why they’re getting into the drug scene at the moment, because it gives them more confidence and because this is what the apps are providing - a lot of people who are free, either on their days off or who aren’t working, and are using on those days… “What are you doing, we’re all trashed, we have mates here, do you want to come over!” But then it just repeats the cycle, people don’t know how to be confident and have sober sex! I’m a sex worker, and I regularly have guys who tell me they haven’t had sober sex for 10 years. I find that really sad.

Fred on stigma: There’s a stigma attached to chemsex/cruising/apps, and it’s the most pressing issue we need to address with the general community. It’s like; once you’re on meth, that’s it – complete devastation, you can’t go back. That’s the mentality people have, it’s what the media says and it’s what you’re loved ones might think. But it’s not always the case! I don’t drink, I don’t smoke. I do this because I do it for a specific reason, and that’s it!

Deacon on stigma: I read the articles in the media about crystal meth, and I’m just like... well this is bullshit! And I go, who’s done this? I go back, follow the links, or the research they’re quoting, and it quite often comes back to something funded by government. Oh my god. They’re creating the stigma! It’s the same as the Grim Reaper HIV ad – they do it because they know that it’s effective! But that doesn’t mean it’s right.

Dylan on newbies: When I grew up in the 80s, in the gay scene in Sydney, I found that there was a community sense there, there were strong leaders in the gay community. I don’t feel as if there’s anything like that today. So for new people on these apps, people who are coming out, people who’ve never used before, there’s no one out there for them to go and ask! Instead, people are finding things out the hard way.

Lyle on using apps: For some people, the gear and sex is synonymous. Even the apps – it’s all entwined. Even if they go to a bar, they’re sitting by themselves on their phone trying to hook up, even though they’re in a bar surrounded by guys. I’ve had people hit me up, they know I’m in the bar with them, but they’ll message me first on the app!

Fred on apps, sex and drugs: For sex and drugs, for group sex, the apps are better. Love and drugs don’t necessarily go together, but sex and drugs do for me.

Jerry busting myths about sex gods on drugs: The amount of guys who’ve been high, moaning like they’re inside me, slapping their wet soft dick against me – I’m just like, nothing’s happening mate! They’re sweating, jerking off, can’t get sexual cos they’re on drugs. But they don’t see that, they feel great and confident cos they’re on it. But to me, that just looks messy. I see it more, cos I don’t have to play when I’m on it. They think they’re pornstars, you just laugh at them. You can’t get hard on demand, you can’t come on demand. They’re moaning and groaning, and I’m just thinking my knees are getting sore and that this was all for nothing!

Lyle on newbies: If it’s a new person coming on the scene, you’re introducing drugs to them, well you have to make sure they’re safe and comfortable. You don’t want to kick someone out – there’s a lot of things you have to think about.

Dean on signalling: There’s repetitive language I’ve noticed. PnP, Wired, YRD, blasting off, the emoticon of the rocket, the horns emoticon which can mean you’re horny. Diamond emoji means ice or might mean they’re an escort. And the red-light emoji means they’re a sex worker.

Jason on being injected: When I started injecting, I would pay my friend who’s a nurse $20, $30 to shoot me up. And then my mates started asking him, and soon enough he was doing alright business with it! That’s what was happening – someone kept asking me to do it, and so I introduced them to my nurse friend! A lot of people are worried that if they learn how to shoot up themselves, that’s when it can become an issue, so they’d rather not do it themselves.

Hunter on injecting others: I just shoot myself – if they can’t do it, I don’t want to do it to them. If they don’t know how, or if they’re struggling to find a vein, well that’s not my problem. It’s always hard to find a vein if people are nervous or dehydrated. It makes me nervous, anxious, to be trying to get a vein for someone. I’d rather not go there anyway. If you don’t know how to do it, learn how to do it! Don’t make it someone else’s problem.

Deacon on taking K: When I take ketamine, it takes the edge of the Tina (ice/meth). It stops the paranoia for me – but when I do ketamine by itself, it’s really different.

Jason on date rape: In Sydney, I went to meet someone, we were smoking cigarettes, having a few drinks... and the next thing I know I woke up in a bush six hours later. I have no idea what happened. You need to accept these risks if you’re gonna go there, you need to take precautions.

Jerry on managing risks: You need people to know that there are risks. If you’re not the kind of person who can handle being in that scene, doing PnP, going to strangers’ houses to fuck them, taking drugs from them... if you don’t understand that these are risky situations, then you shouldn’t do it. Even if you’re not on drugs, just having a few drinks... going home with any stranger, whether you’re on drugs or not, can be dangerous.

Lyle on combining sex work with drugs: A sex worker friend was with a regular, the regular was some high-flying person in the legal fraternity... and high-flying is definitely the right word. This guy can’t shoot up, when he does, he always bruises himself, so escort boy offers to administer. The shot was already made up by the client. So the lawyer has the shot, and then says he’s forgotten something in his car in the basement, and he walks out. 10 minutes later he still hasn’t come back, so the escort hides the drugs inside him, walks out to go look for his client, and walks straight into the arms of the police. The client had gotten paranoid, went downstairs, and told the front desk the escort had shot him up and tried to rob him. It was a fucking nightmare.

Jason on managing G: Here’s a potential hazard – G looks like water. So, you can label the bottles or use food coloring. I mix red or blue food colouring in with my G and tell everyone.

Fred on dependency: I had a mate of mine get addicted to G – he was shocked, and so was I. I didn’t even know you could get a physical dependency for it.

Dylan on the buddy system: There’s an element of responsibility, especially if you’re hosting or supplying the drugs. I remember I was with one guy, we were getting on the G, and after he finished he wanted to leave straight away. Sorry mate – it’s not happening. I made him stay for an extra 90 minutes, got him to smoke some more of his pipe to sober up from the G. I only let him leave when I was confident he wasn’t going to drop once he’d walked out the door.

Hunter on managing G: If you’re on G, being in a warm room will amplify the effect. And never mix it with alcohol! You need to know certain things about certain drugs, the effects and the dangers, before you take it. But in a group setting, the effects and dangers might not be clearly communicated, and in the heat of the moment you might take something you shouldn’t have, and you could end up regretting it.

Fred on managing G: When using G, you have to ask how strong it is. When there isn’t much around, people will water it down to make it last longer, but it means the dose strengths can vary. I usually start with 2mL, but I always ask – sometimes they’ll say, start with 1.5, or they’ll say it’s not as strong so you can start with a bit more. Try your first dose, keep a track of time, and remember that it builds up in your system. But every G could be different – it could be GHB, GBL, or 1,4- B, or who knows what? Some batches take longer to hit, while others come on quickly. If you’re trying something new, start with less! And talk to the guy you get it from, or people who’ve had the same batch before.

Fred on BBVs: I’ve met people who are HIV neg, aren’t on PrEP, but when they’re on it and horny they’ll bareback! They’re willing to take that risk in the moment but aren’t prepared for the potential consequences.

Jason on boundaries: It’s really important to set boundaries beforehand – what you will do, and what you’re not going to do. In the moment, you might break the boundaries you’ve set, and that’s alright – just don’t go crazy. Know how far you want to go and remember that there’s a point you reach where you won’t get any more out of the experience, no matter what drugs you take or what you get up to.

Deacon on staying present: If I go too hard, use too much, it quite often ends up with me not really knowing or remembering what happened. If I get to the point where I can’t remember what I did, then what was the point in having the fuck? I’m really particular about connecting with people I fuck, making it a worthwhile experience, so if you’re not with me you’re likely to be shown the door.

Lyle on why people mix ice and sex: The pleasure of getting fucked, the pleasure of getting fisted, and then you add crystal to that – it’s quite extraordinary. And other things don’t become quite as exciting after that – that’s why people chase it.

Lyle on finding balance: Find balance! That’s what I’ve done. I know when I’m getting to the point where I’ve been doing it too much. That’s when I chill for a while, have some sober sex, because I don’t want to be one of those people who haven’t had sober sex in so long.

Hunter sums up: Know the risks and the potential bad effects of what you’re taking – hope for the best but prepare for the worst!

Sex and drugs in the time of COVID: The interviews for this article were done before the COVID-19 pandemic. Obviously, a lot has changed in that time. The Kibry Institute’s ‘Flux’ study has surveyed gay and bisexual men across Australia since 2014, and has collected recent data on the impact of COVID-19. Study participants overwhelmingly agreed that we must take precautions to avoid COVID including quarantining, social distancing and avoiding casual sex and kissing. Participants strongly disagreed that saunas should be open. The study found very large reductions in casual partnering and the use of drugs such as ecstasy, cocaine, meth and GHB. Close to half of participants reported experiencing symptoms of depression and anxiety. Our communities have been responding well to the challenges we are facing. If you need help or support, ACON have compiled a range of relative resources: www.acon.org.au/what-we-are-here-for/covid19. You can also call ACON on (02) 9206 2000, or ring the NUAA PeerLine on 1800 644 413.