Letters from Inside
These are 2 of the letters Users News has received from incarcerated peers. Miranda writes to us about getting cured of hep C and overcoming past trauma. Bill says “Thank God for depot bupe!” because using in jail can be really stressful.
Miranda’s uplifting influence
“I’ve had time to reflect on myself.”
Dear Editor,
I’m 33 years of age and am currently in jail. I’ve had 2 children and one passed away (stillborn). The day my daughter passed away felt like the day my life ended. I was really young at the time and didn’t even know how to use a fit.
I would end up in bloodbaths or I’d pay someone to do me, which sometimes was hard because I had a raging dependency. Eventually I learned how to do myself and didn’t have to share anymore. So I would go out, do an earn, go get on, have a shot, and do the whole thing again. Every day and every night, over and over again.
Mind you, I still hadn’t grieved over the death of my daughter at the time. I tried not to think about it as I was too busy getting my next hit.
I always had access to fit boxes as I lived right next to a community centre that handed them out, so I thought I was a safe user, until one day I went to get on, then tried to get sterile fits. Every place I went to was closed. I didn’t even have one of my old ones. My mate who sold me the gear didn’t have fits, except his old used one. This one time I used someone else’s fit changed me. I still remember it like it was yesterday. He even told me he had hep C at the time, but I was hanging out and didn’t care.
It all went over my head until I came to jail. I ended up doing a blood test. They told me I was positive for hep C. The doctors explained the treatment and said I had to do a 12-week program. At the time I was really embarrassed. I took it the same time I’d get my methadone, so no-one noticed.
Since I cleared it, I realised why I had no energy. I realised why my appetite changed, my mood, everything. Now I’ve had time to reflect on myself, I’ve found time to cry. As years have gone by, it’s hard, but I’ve accepted the death of my daughter and that honestly comes with time.
Now I’ve got my son to think about, and now that I’ve gotten rid of that nasty hep C, for me the sky is the limit.
Best wishes,
Miranda
Dear Miranda,
Thank you for this amazing letter. By honestly telling your story, you are doing so many things for other our readers – you are reminding people to use safely; you are encouraging people to get tested for hep C – and letting them know that treatment really does make a difference to people’s lives; and you are encouraging other people who might be scared to face their trauma.
You show us that it’s not weak to experience grief but that facing our fears can make us stronger. You remind us that even though we may feel shame at times, that the opinions of others should not stop us stepping up to look after our health.
We know that your journey forward is going to be a lot easier than the road behind you and wish you all the love and joy that is yours to claim.
♥ Users News
“I love not chasing and not worrying all day and all night”
Bill discusses life-changing depot bupe.
Dear Users News,
I just wanted to talk about depot bupe (aka Long Acting Injectable Buprenorphine or LAIB) and say how it has changed my life. I am writing from inside one of NSW’s regional jails, where I am doing time. I used to ring my old girl for money every week, hundreds of dollars every week, begging and screaming at her to put $200 to $500 a week into an account.
I used 18 grand of my savings, then 30 grand of her savings during COVID, when strips were $500 each.
I took 20 grand out of my Super to pay my Mum back. Since starting depot bupe I have not had to ring and beg for money once. It’s been so good. My Mum now answers every call and I’m no longer constantly worried, every day of my life. The chasing all day, standing at the fence waiting, hoping I don’t get ripped off $1000, having to bang (assault) blokes who try to say the money isn’t there, the fighting because certain people demand a cap. I no longer have to hide my fit and I no longer ever have to worry about hanging out.
Since starting depot bup, all my dramas and all the bullshit has stopped. I love not chasing and not worrying all day and all night. Thank God for depot bupe. I am on 128mg every 28 days. I don’t hang out.
I go on the nod every afternoon and I can sleep whenever I want. Not sharing a fit is also something I’m very proud of. If you can get on the depot bupe, I say: Go for it! It has changed my life.
From Bill
Dear Bill,
Respect. It’s amazing to hear how you have turned things around. And the emphasis is on YOU.
YOU are the one who asked for help in the first place. YOU are the one who has put in the hard yards and shifted YOUR thinking and changed YOUR actions. Depot bupe is a good tool, but it’s not a ‘silver bullet’. And while we have heard some great stories, it works differently for everyone.
The Opioid Treatment Program (OTP) has helped a lot of people to stop or reduce their using. Some people find buprenorphine — whether Suboxone, Subutex or Buvidal or Sublocade — supports their goals. Others find that support in methadone.
But along with the support of the OTP, you have to learn new ways of being in the world. It takes courage and determination to make changes in your life. That’s what you did — and it’s what made all the difference.
We salute you!
♥ Users News